nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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