If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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