I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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