I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
40s are totally the cure
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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