Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
