Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
my sisters under your porch take her home
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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