I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
