I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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