All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
