Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
