i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
