I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
