you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
