I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
