If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
