I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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