thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
