it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
