Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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