the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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