i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
