so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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