OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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