If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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