When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
