Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
