my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
is it fun? or sober?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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