I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
