How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
