This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
no, he came in my armpit
I showed him my bush... on skype.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
The best revenge is premature balding
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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