Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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