we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
