idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
