My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
