I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
