Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
