I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
