he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
