im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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