She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
