so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
