You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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