And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I would ride that face into the sunset
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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