The maid of honor just puked.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
