it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
