are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
