i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
