Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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