i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
