Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
