hotel room ftw
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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