I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Pants are for mortals
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
