had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
