Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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