When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
